📍Lausanne, Switzerland🇨🇭& Milan, Italy 🇮🇹

Day 1: After a four hour train ride we arrived in Switzerland. Our hotel was “only” a 17 minute walk from the train station so we decided to walk and see the city. Turns out, Lausanne is VERY hilly and our backpacks are pretty heavy which means we were very sweaty. We got to our hotel, Swiss Wine by Fassbind, dropped everything off, applied some much needed deodorant, and we were on our way to explore. We stopped by the Christmas market, which was tiny, and tried to get some food, but they only accepted cash. Since Switzerland doesn’t use the Euro, we were SOL…tragic. Side note, we did find a little café later on with sandwiches so I was no longer grumpy.

I had researched the area and kept reading about Lavaux, which is know for its views and vineyards. After quick look on Google Maps, it seemed like it was a bit far from our hotel and we didn’t have too long in Lausanne, so I wasn’t sure we were going to make it. When we arrived at the hotel, the guy working there told us Lavaux actually wasn’t that far and worth checking out. We decided to try and make it, so we started by taking the train down to the water. Side note: when you stay in the city, you get a free public transportation ticket (very nice.) Anyway, we made it down to the water (the stop there was called Ouchy and I liked that) and it was beautiful. We started walking and walking and…walking.

We didn’t stop because the views just kept going. Eventually, we looked up how far we were from Lavaux. We were still pretty far and since we wanted to make it to the area before sunset, we walked to the local train station. Turns out the train only comes every 30 minutes and we didn’t have time to wait, so Uber it was. Apparently, “not that far” means something different in Swiss than in English.

France was playing Argentina in the finals of the World Cup, so we looked up a winery in Lavaux that had a TV so we could try some Switzerland wine and watch the finals with some views. We got dropped off at the winery and somehow missed the entrance and started hiking up (a lot of) stairs thinking we were going the right way. We weren’t and it was the best mistake we made. We made it up pretty high and the views were INSANE. Pictures do not do it justice so do yourself a favor and visit this town at your earliest convenience.

Well, the winery didn’t have the views we were hoping for (no windows!! Design flaw on their end) so we walked around to see if we could find someplace else. Apparently, Sundays are NOT hoppin’ in this city. Just about everything was closed. We walked around to appreciate the views for a while, but we really wanted to watch the World Cup too. When you are only soccer fans when the World Cup is on you can’t miss the finals. Junie and Audrey wanted to try to eat at a place by the water, but we didn’t know if they had TV’s so J and I went downtown to find a sports bar. It was packed, but we squeezed our way in. We ended up sitting with two Swiss guys, who happened to have two seats open at their table. I would say most (maybe 65%) of the bar was rooting for France, but our tablemates were not. He decided to yell “MESSI” loudly on repeat every so often just to get a reaction. I was here for it. J ordered a burger and I got a salad that I couldn’t finish. Since J didn’t want it, I offered it to my screaming tablemate who, without a second thought, took my fork and helped himself. Beer kills germs, he’s fine.

Junie and Audrey didn’t end up at the place they had noticed earlier because it was fancier than they needed. They walked around and actually found a pub that had one table left for two people and a great view of the TVs for the game. They did not share their leftover food with strangers but, overall, it was a win.

We all met back up and went to see the lights on the buildings. Apparently, they have scaled back for environmental reasons so it was not as exciting as we expected, but it was still worth seeing especially because we got a crepe on the walk.

There is a tradition where the watchman (or woman) yells from the top of the tower every hour on the hour starting at 10 pm. We walked by at 9 pm to see the castle at night and that was enough for me. J, on the other hand, was determined to see this tradition in real life, so he walked back at 10 pm and got to hear it. The tradition has been going on over 600 years so I applaud J for his dedication to go see it while the rest of us practiced another long standing (and perhaps my favorite) tradition: sleep.

Day 2: We slept in a little, and Junie, Audrey, and I found some breakfast at The Hideaway while J got ready (he’s slow).

We walked to see the church because we had wanted to go up to the bell tower/lookout. Unfortunately, it was closed for a few more hours, so we met up with J and made our way to the Olympic Museum that was by the water (in the area we were the day before). Unrelated, but worth mentioning, is that people were SWIMMING in the water. Like, by choice. They didn’t fall in but got in voluntarily. Anyway, the museum itself was closed, which we knew, but the grounds were filled with things to see and was very scenic.

Once we saw the grounds of the museum, we made our way back to the church for the lookout, which was now open. The views did not disappoint. You could see the entire town with the mountains—chef kiss. 🤌

We spent some time taking it in and then J left us for another tower. Audrey and I wanted to walk around/check out the shops and Junie…well he should have gone with J (but he was a trooper). Audrey successfully got a few Christmas ornaments, some gifts for her family, and we found a cute little cupcake shop called Cuppin’s to stop in for a snack.

Apparently, there was a small animal farm by J’s tower and these guys deserve a spot on the blog.

We met back up with J and tried to have some fondue. There were, oh I don’t know, 500 fondue restaurants but, apparently, ALL of them close after lunch and don’t open up until 6:30 pm, which wouldn’t work for our 7:30 pm train departure time. We didn’t have THAT much time, so we quickly googled until we found a place that was open and had fondue. Everyone had told us Switzerland was expensive, and I felt it, but when I saw a pot of cheese was 27 Euros, I almost fell over. $30 for a pot of cheese? Okayyy fine, I’ll take it. (Reminder, my venmo is Aggie2 if anyone wants to help pay for the debt I will now accrue due to a pot of cheese.)

Junie and Audrey chose to not eat said cheese, so they picked up some poke which was the best we found in Europe so far. We went back to the hotel to grab our bags and we were on the way to the train. While on the train, the police came through to check our passports. No problem…for us. Some guy a few rows back did not feel the same. We were too far to hear what happened, but on the next stop he was off the train. Hope homie is okay!

We made it to Milan, Italy around midnight. The thought was to go right to sleep. The reality: we just got to Italy—we ate a whole pizza and a calzone and THEN went to bed. Not pictured: the pizza because we are animals and it was very quickly inhaled.

Day 3: We only had one day together in Italy before Junie and Audrey left us for Dublin so we had to make the most of it. We woke up early to see the cathedral, Duomo di Milano, when it wasn’t super crowded and then start our walking tour.

In proper “Where The Fork Are We” fashion, I cannot leave out out the croissant we picked up on the way. It was a regular croissant, until you picked the flavor you wanted the nice lady to inject into your breakfast. The flavors ranged from chocolate, white chocolate, cannoli-like cream, I believe pistachio was an option, etc. Disclaimer: the following video is food porn and NSFW.

Anyway, back to the city itself…we took a 3 hour long walking tour around the city, which was a good way to see the highlights in a short time. Our tour had about 30ish people and our guide remembered everyone’s name after asking just once. Even J’s full name. I couldn’t even remember that for a while.

Our stops included the Church Of San Nazaro In Brolo. The church is old, one of the oldest. It was destroyed in a fire and rebuilt in 1075. Fun fact, a few of the bricks survived the fire and are still used.

Statale Univeristy, which is now a university, was originally a hospital. At the time, hospitals were not like hospitals now. Many were places that the terminally ill were held until they died. This was one of the first hospitals that had more desirable conditions (heat in the winter, beds for the patients to lay, etc.). It was so nice during that time that sometimes people checked themselves in to get some heat in the winter.

Duomo Cathedral (obviously), the church that took over six centuries to build (and we think American construction is slow). There is a lady at the top, you may have heard of her before, she goes by the name of Virgin Mary. At the time the church was built, she was the highest point of Milan. Eventually, another company was coming in to build and they were going to build higher than their girl, Mary. Milan protested and the proposal was denied. Everything has a price. Eventually, it was approved and the company put a Virgin Mary at the top of their building to ensure she stayed the highest point of the city.

There’s also a little lady there that looks VERY similar to the Statue of Liberty. The Statue of Liberty was “not” modeled after her but, apparentlyyy, the artist that designed her just happened visit the Duomo right before.

Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II and Teatro alla Scala. The theater was originally popular because of the private rooms providing a place to gamble or “enjoy” the show. People would buy tickets to the performance to either take a date behind closed curtains and…talk…or meet up with people to gamble. It was only legal to gamble when the theater was in use. Eventually, people started going to the theater for opera, which had a huge impact on opera today. Apparently, well known opera guys came from or have performed here. No surprise to anyone, we did not know one name but I’m sure they are very famous.

Piazza Mercanti—People gathered to do business at desks (known as bancas) that were littered throughout the square. When businesses weren’t able to pay their debts, their desks were broken (or in Italian, rotta). And from that action (banca rotta) came the word bankrupt. Etymology lesson complete.

Piazza Affari—Italy’s main stock exchange has a beautiful statue that sits in front of the building.

At the end of our tour, our guide told us about a place that has good pasta, good pizza, and was less than a ten minute walk. Say. Less. Within eight minutes, we were seated in said restaurant. It was as good as he said and we got to sit right by the kitchen and watch them cook. I’m not drooling you are.

Our guide also told us about some interesting places to visit and, after the restaurant, we now trusted our guide’s recommendations. We took the metro to see some flamingos. Yes, in the middle of the city. We visited them for a hot second and then were off to what our trusted guide said was the most unique cemetery he has seen. This man does not lie. It was definitely the most unique cemetery I had ever seen.

The last must sees were two different churches: obviously, the famous one that I keep mentioning, the Duomo, and the other is yet another suggestion from our guide. Someone give this man a raise. We first went to the smaller church, Santuario di San Bernardino alle Ossa, because it closed earlier. Guide man said there was something interesting but wanted us to go see for ourselves. So, we did.

For only a day in the city, we covered a LOT of ground and deserved gelato…with a crepe. We walked back to our hotel and were on a hunt for our nightcap.

Day 4: And that completes Junie’s and Audrey’s visit with us (where’s the dislike button here). They were up the next day to fly to Ireland to complete their tour of 5 countries in 10 days. Jetsetters!

J and I woke up and had absolutely no plans, so we did what we do best: had some lunch. We brainstormed our next move. We decided it was time for a little break and time out of the city, so we found a nice town on the coast of Italy and booked a few nights stay in a little apartment there. We headed to the train station and we were off to Sirmione.

Bloopers: